I love a drink, but it doesn’t love me. It’s certainly starting to feel that we are parting ways.
This post was going to be a reflection on alcohol and its effects on weight loss. But, I will deal with the weight loss aspect in a future post. This turned out to be more of a cathartic exercise, one that I hope some of you can relate to and even find useful. I am sure that I am not the only one that struggles with this. So, I thought it was important to share my relationship with alcohol and how I deal with it. In fact, it doesn’t only apply to alcohol. The underlying message is that this could be anything addictive. Drink, drugs, or even sugar.
If there is one thing that I struggle with in life it’s alcohol. I love a drink. I am by no means an alcoholic (at least I don’t think so). I would say I was a habitual drinker, although, that then sounds like I’m in denial! What I am being is honest. I have a relationship issue with alcohol, but I am not what most people would classify as an alcoholic. That said, alcohol is one thing in my life that I know if it wasn’t there, my life would be so much better.
Habits don’t develop overnight
I was born in the UK in 1980. My formative years lived through the late 90’s and early ’00s, slap bang during the height of the UK drinking culture. The media glamourised it, there were happy hours galore. It was safe to say that there was a culture of drinking to excess. Here I was, a fresh-faced 18 year old, away from home for the first time, jumping two feet first into all the action.
1998-2003 was a hazy mess. In 2003 I did what most people in their early 20’s do and took my first steps onto the rungs of the career ladder. As I transitioned into my working life, the drinking seemed to continue, if not, get worse. There appeared to be a strong drinking culture at the workplace… not in the day (although this happened on occasion) but in the evenings after work. I lived in a city center so it was accessible, and of course easy to trip home. Not only that, if I wasn’t going out, there were plenty of shops to pick up a few cans for the night. Booze is so cheap and so accessible.
Over the years, I built up a terrible habit and I’ve struggled to get out of it. My mind associates alcohol with drinking to excess. I had the mindset that there is no point in drinking only one drink! I love a drink, usually more than one!
Becoming more conscious
As I’ve got older I have been a lot more conscious of the amount of alcohol I am consuming. I have an app on my phone, Drinkless, where I record what I drink. Its MyFitnesspal for drinkers!
My app tells me that I drink more than most, but when I look at my friends I would say I drink less than most…. what I understand these days is that we all look at the world through different lenses. What I mean by this is that if all your friends drink a lot then it’s likely that it will feel normal. Despite what I want to believe, I tend to think that the data never lies.
I have drank more than the recommended 14 units a week for a long time. And, when I drink it has usually been more than the recommended limit of 4.5 units at a time.
For the last 5 years or so I have been trying to reduce the amount of alcohol I’ve been drinking. I still love a drink but I’ve worked towards giving myself days off the booze, to getting down to only drinking at the weekend. Generally, I’ve been successful. But, it’s easy to slip back into old habits, though not to the excess of the past. If that happens, I then try again. I understand these days that I need to get comfortable with this or I must give up completely. These days, I don’t keep any beer in the house, as this is my go-to drink. I don’t buy any of the cheap deals at the supermarkets anymore, despite what my accountant brain tells me to do!
Turning Point
I’ve done dry January for the last 3 years, where you abstain from alcohol for the whole month. This is not something I thought I would ever be able to do. But it is something that has had a profound effect on my drinking habits.
Every year I have gone a little bit longer and each time I’ve thought about giving up the booze completely. I’m not ready to give it up, but I have a much healthier relationship with booze. That said, things can still go off the rails. And when I do, I now struggle with the aftermath… so much so that reinforces that I don’t get on with booze like I used to. When I go for it, the bad times now outweigh the good.
I love a drink, but this is what happens
I did an exercise a few weeks ago where I listed down the consequences of having a few beers. I had 6 bottles of Estrella – 9 units – for anyone interested. This is what I came up with:
- I ended up 1,554 calories over my target for the day – Christmas was the last time this happened
- I didn’t wake up early – I didn’t set my alarm to wake up at 5… I would have been super tired if I had. Not waking up early meant I missed reading and meditation. This is something that I have gotten pretty used to doing and have been enjoying (more than drinking)
- I’ve felt overwhelmed – I usually sit down and plan my day the night before. This didn’t happen and the result was chaos and firefighting• The following day I was too lazy to cook, so went to the chippy. I had a kebab.. loads of chips and a bit of fish… it was awesome. But busted my calorie goal, again.
- Disappointed – we had a big night of drinking planned for the weekend I wanted to make it to this point but I didn’t
The only good point that I could come up with was I had a good time. The cons far outweigh the pros….
And this: The mother of all hangovers
The weekend that I was trying to wait for was a weekend with some friends that we hadn’t seen for a while. They also love a drink! The food was brilliant, the wine flowed like water.
I drank like I was 19 years old.
I suffered like a 41 year old.
I was sick during the night, pretty much passed out on the bathroom floor. It took me until Wednesday to finally feel normal again. During that time i didn’t want a drink, but my body was craving it. ‘Hair of the dog’ had always been my solution in the past. It was a rough few days!
On top of the physical effects, and not being able to eat my Nandos the next day, the one thing i have noticed a lot more is the depression. It’s deep. Unsurprising i guess because alcohol is a depressant… this is never something I gave a lot of thought about, but explains a lot. It usually hits me a couple of days later. I’m down in the dumps, unmotivated and overwhelmed with life. The easy solution is to have a drink to ease the pain. But, I’ve grown to realise that this only delays it, or even worse, compounds its.
It’s not all bad
Anyway, I’m sure I have gotten my point across. I don’t have a particularly great deal of good to say about alcohol these days! I still love a drink, but not as much as I did before.
Don’t get me wrong though, I wouldn’t change anything that I have done in my life! – I have had a brilliant time and alcohol has been a big part of it!
People, in particular children, need education about the silent dangers of alcohol. And, to be fair, this is much better than it was when I was growing up.
It’s great that people have started to speak out about the effects that alcohol has had on their lives. Ordinary people like myself. These stories have had a massive impact on my relationship with booze. But, society has a lot to do with how we perceive drinking. It’s definitely changing, but the UK, as a society, has a problem with alcohol.
For now though, I concentrate on myself and what I can control. Like weight loss, sensible drinking, or not at all, is a lifestyle choice. If you think that you have a drinking problem, the first step is to recognise it. Once you do that you can help yourself. It is important to get support if you need it.
If you are struggling for motivation or if you need some help getting back on track check out this post